Making More Connections: Ahava Northwest is Moving to Signal for Match Communication

As Ahava Northwest grows, the way we support matches needs to grow with us.

Until now, we've taken a fairly concierge-style approach once two members mutually agreed to meet. We often stepped in to coordinate availability, help schedule the first date, communicate details between both people, and follow up afterward.

There are things we've loved about offering that level of support. But we've also learned something important: once two people have both said yes, having their matchmakers serve as the go-between for every scheduling question can make something simple much more complicated than it needs to be.

After piloting a new approach with some of our recent matches, Ahava Northwest is moving to Signal for direct communication and date planning following a mutual match.

How Will It Work?

When we introduce two members, you'll still have the opportunity to review your potential match and independently tell us whether you're interested in meeting.

If you both say yes, it's a match!

At that point, we'll create a private Signal group with both daters and your Ahava matchmakers. Instead of sending your availability to us and waiting while we coordinate schedules back and forth, you'll be able to introduce yourselves, compare schedules, and plan your first date together.

Whitney and Beni will initially remain in the group so we're available if you need support, but we won't actively monitor your conversations. We want the space to feel like it's yours.

We'll also continue checking in outside of the chat. About a week after your introduction, we'll follow up to see whether you've had a chance to schedule your first date and how things are progressing. We'll continue periodic check-ins and collect feedback through approximately the third date if the match progresses that far.

If you decide not to continue seeing one another, we'll archive the group. If things are going well after your third date, we're happy to step out and let you take it from there.

Why We're Moving Away From Concierge Date Planning

There's a very good reason we need a more scalable system: Ahava is growing!

Our database continues to get larger, and we're making more introductions between members every month. Lately, it seems like we're making new introductions every week.

That's exactly what we want to be doing.

But the more introductions we make, the more challenging it becomes for your matchmakers to also serve as the intermediary for every scheduling conversation.

One person sends us their availability. We send it to their match. Their match responds. We relay that response back. Someone's schedule changes. Another email goes out.

Suddenly, something two people could have figured out in a few messages can take several days.

We don't want your matchmakers to become the bottleneck between you and your match.

We'd rather spend that time reviewing potential matches, conducting outreach, welcoming new members, talking with our existing members, making introductions, and providing support when it's actually needed.

It also means your ability to communicate with a match doesn't depend on our availability. That's particularly valuable as we head into a busy fall with the High Holidays, parental leave for one of our team members, our matchmakers' wedding, and planned time away.

If you're both trying to figure out whether Tuesday or Thursday works for coffee, you shouldn't need to wait for us to come back to our inbox to find out.

Why Signal?

We considered how to give daters more independence without simply handing two strangers each other's personal contact information.

That's where Signal fits particularly well.

Signal is a private messaging service where Signal-to-Signal communications are end-to-end encrypted. It also offers phone-number privacy settings and usernames, allowing people to connect and communicate without making their phone number visible to someone who doesn't already have it.

That gives us a useful middle ground: direct communication without requiring the immediate exchange of your personal phone number, email address, social media accounts, or other contact information.

Signal is also widely accessible. It's available on Android, iPhone and iPad, with desktop applications for Windows, Mac and Linux. Signal Desktop can be linked to Signal on your phone, so you can continue a conversation from your computer if that's more comfortable or convenient.

Don't have Signal? You don't need to download it just because you're an Ahava member. We'll let you know when you have a mutual match and it's time to get connected, although you're certainly welcome to set it up ahead of time.

Download Signal for your device

Your Personal Information Is Still Yours to Share

Using Signal gives both daters some time to decide when they're comfortable sharing more personal information.

If you eventually want to exchange phone numbers, connect on social media, switch to regular texting, or communicate somewhere else, that's completely fine. Moving communication away from Signal should simply be a mutual decision between both daters.

We ask that neither person pressure the other to provide personal contact information or move to another platform before they're comfortable. In particular, we encourage members to keep communication within the Signal group through the first few dates.

This gives both people an opportunity to get to know one another while maintaining some of the privacy and boundaries of the matchmaking process.

We're Still Your Matchmakers

Moving away from concierge scheduling does not mean we're moving away from supporting your match.

Think of it as a change in our role.

We don't need to manage the logistics of deciding whether you're meeting at 6:00 or 6:30. But if you're unsure how to navigate something that happened on a date, have feedback that could help us understand your compatibility, need help communicating a boundary, or have a concern about your match, that's where we want to be involved.

And if something doesn't feel right, please tell us.

Your comfort and safety remain a priority. We want to hear about concerns involving inappropriate or disrespectful behavior, pressure to share personal information, requests for money or financial support, boundary violations, harassment, or other behavior that makes you uncomfortable.

While we can't guarantee the behavior of another individual, we take concerns from members seriously and will review information brought to our attention to help protect the safety and integrity of our matchmaking community.

More Independence, With Support When You Need It

Ultimately, this change is about finding the right balance as Ahava grows.

We don't want to hand someone your phone number and say, "Good luck!" But we also don't think your matchmaker needs to coordinate every detail once two adults have mutually decided they'd like to meet.

Our job is to help make the connection. Your job is to explore it.

Signal gives our members more independence during those first few dates while still keeping Ahava present for support, feedback, and guidance when needed.

And as our community continues to grow, it gives us more time to focus on what you came to Ahava for in the first place:

Making more opportunities for Jewish connection throughout the Northwest. ❤️